I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
