why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
