I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
