I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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