I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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