Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
