I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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