apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
