you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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