Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
