I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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