Are we in a gay sports bar?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
