Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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