Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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