My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize