I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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