did you get engaged???
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
