Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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