How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize