i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Drake has all the answers
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
