u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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