i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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