bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
