Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
