so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
