You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize