I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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