the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today