I'm really into asian looking animals
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
