R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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