Dude my mom stole all your condoms
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
