I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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