I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
