Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
