I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
