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you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
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