you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
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he was CRYING into my vagina
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.