i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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