Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.

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  (404): I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/k2tm
  Replies (25) Good night (3859) Bad night (470)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .

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  (250): woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" . http://tfl.nu/721o
  Replies (9) Good night (6480) Bad night (1147)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.

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  (712): He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him. http://tfl.nu/xqld
  Replies (30) Good night (5736) Bad night (1958)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.

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  (360): Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night. http://tfl.nu/91du
  Replies (49) Good night (7751) Bad night (1225)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident

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  (712): slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident http://tfl.nu/zocq
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (1350)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.

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  (850): i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today. http://tfl.nu/xq7h
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (1575)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer

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  (678): I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer http://tfl.nu/ffy6
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (1090)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.

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  (914): He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will. http://tfl.nu/096i
  Replies (8) Good night (2272) Bad night (628)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Stop whining I left you with whiskey

  (224): View more from Illinois

  YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.

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  (224): Stop whining I left you with whiskey (1-224): YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE. http://tfl.nu/439l
  Replies (6) Good night (2128) Bad night (739)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?

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  (678): Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail? http://tfl.nu/41r0
  Replies (9) Good night (953) Bad night (477)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

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  (757): Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning http://tfl.nu/ntuq
  Replies (14) Good night (1863) Bad night (503)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.

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  (202): That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off. http://tfl.nu/x6zl
  Replies (11) Good night (736) Bad night (1678)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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  (973): Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs. http://tfl.nu/4tj9
  Replies (9) Good night (831) Bad night (382)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.

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  (206): In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises. http://tfl.nu/t2bs
  Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (283)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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  (405): We're not piercing ourselves today. http://tfl.nu/89v4
  Replies (3) Good night (397) Bad night (289)

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