Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

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  (423): Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/w5j3
  Replies (37) Good night (4114) Bad night (1026)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends

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  (651): sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure (1-651): you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends http://tfl.nu/j2wt
  Replies (32) Good night (933) Bad night (8166)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...

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  (902): I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL... http://tfl.nu/s81g
  Replies (25) Good night (714) Bad night (9547)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

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  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (862) Bad night (4509)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.

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  (253): Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away. http://tfl.nu/2pvy
  Replies (32) Good night (8498) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar

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  (616): They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar http://tfl.nu/bcnl
  Replies (37) Good night (1317) Bad night (9390)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?

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  (601): Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time? http://tfl.nu/q1z9
  Replies (7) Good night (2347) Bad night (861)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?

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  (651): Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door? http://tfl.nu/hi0q
  Replies (7) Good night (1789) Bad night (455)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.

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  (309): Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate. http://tfl.nu/i08u
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday

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  (847): Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday http://tfl.nu/gokz
  Replies (2) Good night (284) Bad night (424)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.

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  (480): He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps. http://tfl.nu/9n8s
  Replies (4) Good night (291) Bad night (189)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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  (802): When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean? http://tfl.nu/44u3
  Replies (4) Good night (1087) Bad night (228)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...

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  (801): It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter... http://tfl.nu/zb1t
  Replies (13) Good night (246) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day

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  (734): my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day http://tfl.nu/yw74
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (178)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.

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  (517): I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning. http://tfl.nu/kpo2
  Replies (3) Good night (376) Bad night (167)

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