please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
