Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
