I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
