just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
