p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.