I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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