Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
