i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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