I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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