You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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