sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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