I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize