scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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