she woke up with a sticky ear
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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