And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
