so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
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I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
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