Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
