I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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