Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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