My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i think i just lost a toe
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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