I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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