can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
