hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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