I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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