i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
