u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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