I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
