The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
