guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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