whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
