it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
