I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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