just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
