I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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