sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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