i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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